Some advice to hang onto during this journey - there’s no rush and no timeline for your explorations. These events bring out all kinds of people, including the curious and the supportive, so being spotted there doesn’t need to feel incriminating. The Pride parade and festival itself can be a great option because they draw big crowds, making it easier to stay incognito. Pride month is an especially good time for these explorations because there will be more events than at any other time of year. You’ll be able to take in the vibe without having to socialize. You don’t even need a specific event to attend - try grabbing one of the books suggested above and heading to your nearest gay or lesbian bar to read. Just about any activity you can think of may have its own LGBTQ+ version, such as Gay Skate in Portland, a monthly takeover of an amusement park roller rink, or themed nights at clubs. What kind of events are you looking for? Aim for entry-level gatherings at first, which include mixers aimed at newcomers or anything where you can blend into the audience, such as a RuPaul’s Drag Race watch party at the local gay bar. You may also find local chapters of national groups, such as the Bisexual Resource Center, or find resources through GLAAD (an organization that advocates for positive LGBTQ+ representation in entertainment and media). To find local chapters of national groups, check out Center Link, which maintains a listing of LGBT centers nationwide. You can also find resources and events through a local Q-Center, through local sex toy shops (which often host classes,) and through websites like FetLife and Meetup. Try googling things like “lesbian + town name” or “bisexual + town name” to see what comes up. Although big cities usually have more going on, even small towns generally have at least a few events every once in a while. If and when you’re ready for some explorations outside of your house, there are a variety of options.
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How To Explore Your Sexuality Out In The World “I think one of the least intimidating ways to explore sexuality and test boundaries can be with yourself through masturbation, watching porn, trying on underwear or lingerie to see what feels good, taking sexy selfies, or experimenting with toys,” says psychiatric nurse practitioner Casey Granbois, PMHNP, who specializes in working with LGBTQIA+ people.ĭiving into porn for the first time can be intimidating - here are some options start with that focus on LGBTQ+ filmmakers and performers:
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The Best Lesbian Erotica series by various editors.Can Everyone Please Calm Down by Mae Martin.Beyond the Gender Binaryby Alok Vaid-Menon.S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties(second edition) by Heather Corinna.
Here are some others that can be a good place to start:
You can also begin to explore through media, from books to television.īooks are my personal comfort zone, and the one that was an early game-changer for me was Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out. Finding resources online, including Instagram, TikTok, Reddit, and FetLife, allows you to stick your toes in the water from the comfort of your own home. When you’re at the beginning of your exploration journey, starting on your own may feel safest. How To Explore Your Sexuality On Your OwnĪbraham Gonzalez Fernandez/Moment/Getty Images Sexual satisfaction is an important element of overall health and well-being and to get there, you need to understand what you want. What does this research mean for you? It’s OK if you don’t have everything figured out already - most people don’t. A 2019 study published in The Journal of Sex Research found, “Substantial changes were common not only from late adolescence to the early 20s but also from the early 20s to the late 20s, indicating that sexual orientation development continues throughout emerging adulthood.” Our sexualities continue to change throughout our lives, especially in the first few decades.
And it’s rarely a one-time process that you complete, and never have to think about again. It’s never too early or too late to explore your sexuality. But there’s good news: these days we have more resources and tools for exploration than ever before. It turns out there’s no simple test you can put yourself through for easy answers. Well, I eventually got that kiss and spoiler alert - nothing was clarified. I vividly remember the desire I felt to kiss another girl back when I was a teenager because I thought my reaction to a single kiss would clarify all the questions I had about my sexuality.